Here's Morgan's Recipe for Success:

"How to be a success: Never make less than a thousand dollars a week. That's all."

Here are three of the deeply sarcastic-bordering-on-absurdist wartime quarter-hour solo programs from Henry Morgan, the man who inspired his dozens of listeners to actually listen to a show's commercials by making fun of the advertisers' products. I imagine the reason why the show was transcribed -- quite a rarity in those days -- was to censor any of Morgan's more outre ad-libs and to pare his talk down to the sharpest material, similar to how Groucho Marx was handled on YOU BET YOUR LIFE years later. Morgan later resurfaced with a much more conventional comedy series that, by sheer volume of the cast, watered Morgan's natural acidity down considerably. Today, he's best known for his time as a panelist on the television program I'VE GOT A SECRET, and someone needs to buy me a copy of his autobiography, HERE'S MORGAN: THE ORIGINAL BAD BOY OF BROADCASTING.