Teddy, Paul, Sam and Max

It's been so long since I bookmarked this page of Teddy Roosevelt quotes that I have no idea why I bookmarked it. I think I was looking for a specific quote, but none of them jump out at me.

I don't remember if I've written about it here, but during the flood I realized two things about music: One, the first minute of the Allman Brothers' "Whipping Post" [up to "Sometimes I feel ..."] is the coolest minute of sound ever broadcast on a Classic Rock radio station, but somehow the four minutes after it erases its awesomeness. The second I realized was that Paul McCartney was the best guitarist in the Beatles. It was so self-evident that I had no choice but to make a Sam & Max: Freelance Police comic about it. A few weeks later, I happened across this "Paul is Dead" "truth" page. The animated GIFs are amusingly creepy, and the text -- what I skimmed, at least -- gave me hope that Paul 1966 is still alive and will someday return, Ben Reilly-style, and replace "Faul" as the one true Paul McCartney. Just like Spider-Man's, Paul's writing slid into mediocrity hard in the '70s and '80s and '90s, and Paul never had the consolation of being drawn by John Romita.

The 793rd step on the last road home.

This is why I don't write reviews much anymore

Actually, it's because no one asks me. But I couldn't hope to match the wit and insight of this Legend of Zelda NES review. His thesis is that Super Mario Bros. was way better than Zelda in every way, capping it off with: "The Storyline is for the most part non-existent. For some reason an old man gives a little kid a sword and tells him to save Zelda, a Princess without a Kingdom, so not only is it stupid, but the player never feels that they must save Zelda."

What is Mario's character motivation, again? If you go strictly by what the game tells you, he has a passion for kicking ass, hoarding coins and moving to the right. The game's narritive is that he does that until he encounters a princess, whose ass he does not kick and everyone's happy. The End.

ooo, white frogs

Having pondered the matter for a few weeks, I've decided Xenopus laevis are the coolest amphibians.

a bookmark so old, I have no idea how/why it got there

Most message board threads are moronic, but this one gave me an ice-cream-like headache in its layers of stupid. My favorite part is that the initial idiot bellows about these youngsters who like Rihanna's "S.O.S. (Rescue Me)" being clearly ignorant of "Tainted Love, but then he cites David Benoit [?] of Soft Cell as the song's author. [Ed Cobb wrote it, Gloria Jones first performed it, and Soft Cell covered it 15-20 years later.] That Soft Cell is two guys and neither of them is named David Benoit, and the impression that the messboard doofus has never heard of sampling and how prevalent it's been in youngsters' music for the last 25+ years are tied for a close second.

The 783rd step on the last road home.

Avast, ye .flv-file converters, yargh

Everyone loves Matt Groening's LIFE IN HELL, right?

And everyone loves youtube.com, right?

And everyone loves pirates, right?

Well, this pushes all three together and the results, they aren't too bad. Enjoy.

The 774th step on the last road home.