This is why I don't write reviews much anymore

Actually, it's because no one asks me. But I couldn't hope to match the wit and insight of this Legend of Zelda NES review. His thesis is that Super Mario Bros. was way better than Zelda in every way, capping it off with: "The Storyline is for the most part non-existent. For some reason an old man gives a little kid a sword and tells him to save Zelda, a Princess without a Kingdom, so not only is it stupid, but the player never feels that they must save Zelda."

What is Mario's character motivation, again? If you go strictly by what the game tells you, he has a passion for kicking ass, hoarding coins and moving to the right. The game's narritive is that he does that until he encounters a princess, whose ass he does not kick and everyone's happy. The End.