Enjoying the happiness

I've been sifting through the video at archive.org, and rediscovered the Rob Pongi video-clips enjoyment; his site seemed to have been down forever, but it's back now. Hooray! I was surprised to discover how much I've missed the personals readings, the ringtone swaying and Miss Emi. I also like the Mozart clip and this funny little kid, and the "Fucking USA" video still disturbs yet rocks. Especially the ringtone swaying; it's more relaxing to watch than tropical fish.

Hey kids, comics!

Over at Sony Pictures' site for THE LOST SKELETON OF CADAVRA, they have a few examples of the "Ranger Business with Ranger Brad" tie-in comic strip, in the site's "Skelectables" section. "Skelectables" is a fun word to say. "Skelectables." "Rower" is fun to say, too.

I get so tired of people writing me into their scripts

This is my first time being written into a funnybook, though:

THE PORTENT is the story of Milo, a man who has absolutely no interest in the world or other people. ... Milo is not like the other 'anti-heroes,' he isn't rotten to the core ... Eventually, he'll come to terms with who he is and what he must do, but by then it is already too late.

Needless to say, I'll sue their asses into jail if the comic isn't as good as my uncredited appearances in other media.

The 526th step on the last road home.

Future Project: "Crazy Eddie & The Cruisers"



I love Crazy Eddie Antar almost as much as I love Tom Carvel, but I kinda doubt Eddie paid R. Crumb for the commercial use of this illustration. Click the jpeg for a great tribute site to the CE spots and Jerry Carroll, who was my favorite TV personality for most of my childhood. I often wondered if he was Crazy Eddie and just referring to himself in the third person [which would be pretty crazy] or if there was an actual Crazy Eddie and Carroll was just rude and didn't bother to introduce himself. But it was pretty clear, even to a child, that something was rotten in Coney Island -- how could any business thrive and expand with prices that were ... innnsaaaaaane? If there was a DVD of all the CE spots, I think I would pay out the ass for a copy.

The 522nd step on the last road home.

The 521st step on the last road home.

Didn't it blow your mind this time? Didn't it?

Great giggly Jesus, just when I thought it was safe to peruse the Tribune Media site for JUMBLE merchandise, my fragile eyeballs and psyche encounter another 300+ page GIL THORPE collection; this time, it's a basketball trade.

WHERE WILL IT END? A COLLECTION OF BASEBALL STORIES? TRACK & FIELD?? BOWLING?? GOLF??? PING-PONG???? HOW CAN GIL GET HIS TEAMS TO SEMI-FINALS EVERY YEAR WHEN IT'S MATHEMATICALLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO SPEND MORE THAN 30 SECONDS A DAY WITH EACH TEAM??? DAMN YOU GIL THORPE! YOU MANIAC! YOU BLEW IT UP!! GOD .... DAMN YOU ALL TO HELLLLLLLLLLL!

The 519th step on the last road home.

Why I'm not getting an Xbox360, ever.

The first consoles are the best consoles. It's true; I can prove it with math.

You + mild nostalgia + [sincerity / irony * your age] + time to kill + original videogame console = better than sequel platforms.

The Atari 2600. The Nintendo Entertainment System. The Playstation. And, as of 11 hours ago, The Microsoft Xbox. These are the platforms -- at least, the first three -- we remember fondly and still play on occasion. Perhaps an isolated dork or two longs for another go on the Sega Genesis or Jaguar, and I suppose we all enjoy playing some of the bosser Nintendo 64 games [GOLDENEYE, EXCITEBIKE, MARIO KART and, uh ...] every once and a while -- but we all like the original plats the best. No one pulls their old SNES or 5200 out to play out of love, only hate.

If any of you out there are thinking about paying an asinine amount of money for a 360, don't. Just don't! In 10 years, it would be at the bottom of your closet -- if not your basement or garage -- collecting dust while you're playing ZELDA on the skeletal remains of your NES.

I really don't if I'll be alive in ten years, but if I am and can still play video games, I have five bucks [2005] that sez I'll still be about quarter-way through GRAND THEFT AUTO: SAN ANDREAS [Hot Coffee-edition, not that I'll ever get around to unlocking that creepy game, but I had to have that edition on general principle], spending most of my time in the game bicycling through the ghetto, giggling and crooning "Nigga stole my bike" to Little Man. Sure, the massive scale, vastly improved AI and great leap forward in realism across the board are nice -- I also enjoy spawning and using the jetpack and military helicopter & jet from time to time -- but the true awesomeness of the game is that you can work out on the bike and get stronger and healthier. It's amazing if you think about it. Anyway, it's a pleasure that will not be truly available on Xbox 360 ever, so please don't waste your allowances. I thank you.

The 518th step on the last road home.

Hating Koreans; the next big thing in manga

Articles like this make me wonder how soon it will be before the "early adopter" gaijin [read: yellow-fever dipshits] over here will lean back on their heels and bellow on, to no one in particular, about how comics can never resume being a mass medium until the nationalist/racist genre of sequential art is properly represented in the book trade and direct market.

Everyone has to have a hometown

In my hometown, the mayor's office and city council have been solidly Republican for years. With most of the votes in, it's clear that both houses will be Democrat-controlled come January. In the mayoral race, the Republican candidate -- who had raised the most money and had the most National Committee backing -- came in third, quite a ways behind the semi-wingnut Independent candidate's distant second. Very interesting.

I didn't vote this year, by the way. Won't vote next year either. Voting is for losers and old people. But the results are ... very interesting.

*******

Tonight's episode of BOSTON LEGAL was the best thing ever broadcast, ever. I nearly came when The Shat called the judge a douche bag.

The 505th step on the last road home.

The 504th step on the last road home.

Your comics link of the month

Via ZOSO: Behold the mirth and majesty of "Bunny Suicides"

The WWII gags creased me -- and I love a good live-grenade-on-a-boomerang joke whenever I can get one -- but I think a lot of the cartoons there would be even funnier if titled "Bunny Homicides."

I'm not much of a Hillary Clinton fan. But

her Republican opponent in the mid-term election [William Brenner] should not be speedbagged by a local-yokel NPR host this fucking easily. I know that party hasn't had the best few months lately, but really, you would think that they could produce a less-pathetic candidate than someone barely able to do more than mechanically recite moldy GOP talking points and clearly insincere populist rhetoric in an unintentionally amusing Garry Marshall brogue.

My Gift Wish List, Part I

People who really don't know me well enough to safely ask me stupid questions often ask me "Milo, why do you hate comics?" I usually tell such tools that the reason is that it should not have taken 40 years for DC Comics to produce a Composite Superman action figure, which satisfies a remarkably large number of the nosy dopes who bother me.

I bring the Comp Supes doll up here because its brief tenure as my favorite toy ended the other day, when I came across this page. Nevermind the Hello Kitty and super-deforme Star Wars bullshit, linger a moment or two over the Mama Duck wearing a 'Do Rag toy and get to the bottom. The wounded protagonist of Yoshiharu Tsuge's awesome gekiga/manga short story "Nejishiki" as a wind-up toy of some sort? MUST HAVE NOW, OR AT LEAST BY DECEMBER 26.

Another reason I give for hating comics is that I've gotten really inappropriate ones as gifts for, um, my entire adult life -- really, isn't obvious to even strangers who read a page or two of the archives here that I'm not someone who should be given any of those hardcover T.H.U.N.D.E.R. AGENTS ARCHIVES collections? I have three of the goddamned things. Three! There shouldn't be three volumes of that crap in the first place, much less that I should own copies. Anyway, I'm tired of getting gifts that make me wonder if the person even likes me, much less knows me, so I'm drafting a list of nerdy crap I would be happy to receive as Xmas/birthday/I'm cheating on you with your roommate/etc. presents. Buy me as many of the below as possible to show me that you really love me:

1. That Nejishiki toy [and box, which I'm sure is spiffily designed]
2. The original, "Hot Coffee" edition of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas
3. The Complete Calvin & Hobbes
4. 10,000 Maniacs' "Time Capsule" DVD
5. Cyrus Chestnut's "Charlie Brown Christmas" CD
6. THE ESSENTIAL GODZILA TPB

Drop an email to call dibs on getting me any the above, or if you know of any place that has that Nejishiki thing for sale over here. I thank you.

Huzzah, I've been whitelisted!

No more unreadable CAPTCHAs for me. Let us celebrate by looking at some more amusing recent spam from my spam folders. Here are two from the gmail:

FROM: traxpublications@Midnigh.
SUBJECT: The European Union Loves Smallville
BODY: CLEARLY THE SHOW IS A HIT... A BETTER QUESTION IS, WILL EUROPE FACILITATE THE EXPANSION OF Â… [p81-m-102005.jpg]

FROM: Elisabeth Sharp
SUBJECT: Dog is the man's best friend.
BODY: Let's make it a well-bred friend. - Your dog can be your best frien or can be your worst enemy making your life miserable. It's Â…


I was cleaning out my old Yahoo email's Bulk folder, when I noticed ... a certain sameness in these unsolicitations. I'm not entirely clear what Cialis is; I assume it's another chemical fuck crutch of some sort. Now I'm somewhat nostalgic for the days of "V1@GR@ 4 FR33!!!" email headers.

The 499th step on the last road home.