Did you know that every time a comics collector is mocked for his shitty taste, a manga reader has her first period? It's true! Last Wednesday afternoon: I'm standing on a street corner, waiting for the light to change, minding my own business, when I see a few tweener girls across the street, sitting on their bicycles in front of the town's only comics shop.
The girls are staring forlornly into the shop, which is packed with dorks straight off the bus from Central Casting. As I pass the shop, I accidentally make eye contact with the one of the kids. "They don't have the new SHONEN JUMPs anymore," she says, looking up at me like I give a shit. I might as well do my good deed for the month, so I explain to the nerdlings that those comics mostly suck anyway, but it doesn't cheer any of them up. I can't think of anything else to do, so before I go in the shop, I draw the girls a map to the Barnes & Noble a few blocks away and tell three of them that today is not a good day for them to be wearing white shorts.
Two hundred words, right on the nose. I'm amused, at least.
From: Lucille Gould
Body: Pamela Anderson in 1980 be careful I feel deeply for your sorrow in 1937 Dreamcast [collide.GIF]
From: Brendan Spence
Re: Re 
Body: Blink 182 I trust you in 1960 the blackout Jessica Alba MP3 [conserve.GIF]
A few caps from the semi-abandoned Yahoo account:
Wasn't Walter Dolan the commish in THE SPIRIT comic strip?
My favorite B-52s song that's not on COSMIC THING just has to be F UCK LOBSTER.
I've noticed a certain sameness in a lot of the smut spam I've been pelted with lately
Now and forever, the king of all spam sender-name/subject titles.
And my all-time favorite spammer-address lineup:
If I had any ambition, I'd make this a LiveJournal icon. Heck Fried Adler! Yell it out the nearest window as loudly as you can. It's fun.
"It looks like Dr. Frank Burns is doing a bit of dilatation and curettage."
"Accelerate to attack speed."
"Sir, does this mean Ann-Margaret isn't coming?"
"I can smell it a hundred miles. Sometimes closer."
"Don't you see? A real sword will kill you."
Living with your folks, the beginning of the end ... Drab, dead yesterdays shutting out beautiful tomorrows ... Hideous, stumbling footsteps creaking along the misty corridors of time .... And in those corridors, I see figures. Strange figures. Weird figures: Google 294.64. Lucent 2.91. Microsoft 26.48 ....