Seven More Episode III senryu

A few more from Messaging conversations with my pal Woody:

Samuel L Jackson
still died like some punk sucka;
purple lightsaber [or "bad motherfucker," your choice]

Ewan McGregor
wields a meaty lightsaber;
Rent THE PILLOW BOOK.

The coughing cyborg
should have his own trilogy;
so, who's he made from?

Dear lame droid doctor:
"She's lost the will to live" is
no diagnosis.

The eye of the storm;
Anakin floats on lava,
a moment of hate

The setless set; just
blue-screened risers, blue crash mats,
feelless X-Box feel

Sith sings in Spanish;
awful, the dialogue is
if it's understood.

The 344th step on the last road home.

More entertainingly nonsensical headers from my spam folder

From: Ezra Sanchez
Subject: re [22]: -
Body: Jennifer Love Hewitt in 1952 American Express FINE. in 1872 in
2007 [decisionmake.GIF]

From: Roy Farley
Subject: Re [3]: -
Body: pass me Coca Cola Harry Potter XFL Cheerleaders Diwali [chevrolet.GIF]

The 337th step on the last road home.

The 335th step on the last road home.

Seven Senryu About Star Wars III

Wrong, the critics are;
A bad feeling about this,
I had ... correctly.

Revenge of The Sith;
George must unlearn the learned for
later Special Ed.

Rifenstahl knew that
city council meetings are
no place for snuff films.

George says he rarely
spoke with actors while shooting.
Result no surprise.

Bush metaphor shows
conservative crybabies'
whine fuel's running low.

M&Ms, Pepsi;
Space Goebbels, Paid Endorsee;
cash uber alles.

Darth Maul, Boba Fett;
who cares about the nice guys?
Han Solo shoots first.


[Thanks, Woody.]

More recent spam headers that made me laugh:

From: Santiago Burch
Subject: well?
Body: NY Yankees Review Freeware in 1975 How old? in 1963 [cranny.GIF]

From: Burl Chandler
Subject: re[5]
Body: Tenchi Muyo dog ?????? in 1956 The Census in 1859 [threshold.GIF]

The 334th step on the last road home.

The 329th step on the last road home.

Sunday Advice Column #3

your demon decorator's sneak attack

Spam Of The Week

I checked my gmail's spam folder for the first time in a few weeks and found this brilliant nugget of dada buried in a mound of "refinance your mortgage" adverts:

From: Damion Pike

Subject: info -

Body [before it switched over to some advertisement for herbal sex aids or bootleg Adobe Photoshop & Illustrator software or somesuch bullshit]: in 1954 The Beatles Don't listen to Yes, of course. Welcome! try to understand [exasperater.GIF]


Man, I wish I could write anything this funny and evocative.

"Doing" the math

O. Get out your calculator.

I. Pick a number, 1 through 9, for the number of orgasms you would like to have in a day. You can't pick 0 nor 10 or more; neither are very healthy for you.

II. Multiply your number by 2.

III. Add 5 to that number.

IV. Multiply it by 50.

V. If you have already had your birthday this year, add 1755.
If you haven't, add 1754.

VI. Now subtract the four-digit year that you were born.

VIb. If you don't have a three-digit number, start over at the beginning; you screwed the math up somewhere.

The first digit of the sum you got was how many orgasms you want to have a day. The last two numbers are your age. THIS IS HOW WELL I KNOW YOU, PERVERT -- AND YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF!!!

The 318th step on the last road home.

The 315th step on the last road home.

Sunday Comic Strip #6

At this point in my comics mashups, I seem to have given up on using backgrounds entirely, although this one apparently uses nothing but figures and text from one week's Sunday section. And I discovered rubber cement is easier to use than Scotch tape.

Mrs. Wilson, Chaplain Staneglass, The King of Id, Blondie Bumstead, Snoopy and Andy Capp star in "Gee ... It's different than it was yesterday, Mommy!" September 11, 1994.