Santa, why are you looking at me like that???



Perhaps it's the dark, dirty-looking rendering of the cheeks and the beady eyes, perhaps it's the candy in his hand [since when does ol' Saint Nick work with sweets?] or perhaps it's just me, but this comic cover's Santa Claus makes me feel like the jolly old elf is touching me in places where my bathing suit covers. And not always in a good way either!

Santa is the best superhero, ever; he has cool powers and a neat vehicle and he helps almost everyone in the world in one night and all he wants from us is to be good to each other. And you never hear stories about Santa punching Lex Luther in the nuts* or giving The Joker a "Gandhi" to the forehead when he's not paying attention or giving Doctor Doom "bunny ears" behind his head just before the Red Skull takes their photograph or even talking trash about the freak-ass sex toys Betty and Veronica asked him to bring them for Christmas! The Green Goblin would never ever cockblock Santa with the girl he dated before he married Mrs. Claus, lemme tell ya!!!

What the world needs now is more Santa comics. Ultimate All-Star Santa Claus Comics.

* I accidentally typed "Martin Luther" here, which is a funnier image.

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