What it is, pathetic mammals,

I hope you can you recall a news item from a few months ago about Robert Chamberlain, a man who was arrested after coating his entire hotel room and himself with petroleum jelly? Milo tells me that his case was heard this week and he pled guilty to a reduced charge of Criminal Mischief, sentenced to three years probation and ordered to pay the hotel a little less than $4,000 US in damages. The judge didn't ask him why he did it, and Chamberlain didn't tell.

Would you like to see a jpeg of the Vaseline man? Of course you would!

But first, it has been brought to my notice that I have not "link-blogged" in some time, so please receive the pleasure of these offerings:

Hail! Hail!! Mary Kaye!!! [Not the shitty cosmetics magnate.] The site's crude and the grammar is somehow worse than mine in places, but you will love the woman who made Las Vegas fun and endorsed the best Stratocaster model, ever. So clean ... so elegant ... so blonde and gold.

Alex Toth on "Intellectual Amos." The pleasure of Andre LeBlanc's comic strip is great and substantial. Enjoy it presently.

Mugshots, mugshots and more mugshots. Very humorous. Looks like Jeffrey Jones took a few shots to the face prior to his mugshot was taken, punches that smirking prick Macaulay Culkin clearly could've used before the cops took his picture.

I suppose Special Education students need statutory raping too.

Just looking at the photographs of his mother and father, their son is an ideal posterchild for abortion. Retroactive abortion. As in the child's eight or ninth trimester.

As if the photo alone doesn't underline how dorky Billie Joe of Green Day truly is, turns out he drives a BMW. Glen Fucking Campbell is more punk than him, and that codger's so old I'm reasonably certain a swift kick to his hip would reduce it to dust.

No one knows what it’s liiiiiiike
To be the bald man
screwed by the mail man
Behind blackened blue eyes

Like far too many child stars, the adult life of the child actress who played Lucy Van Pelt quickly spiraled into a miasma of drugs, prostitution and face-punching contests before dying young in prison.

Hey, tell you what, cops need "hillbilly heroin" too, you know.

Black Popeye.
Jill O'Lantern.
Johnny Brainiac.
And the ghost of Emma Goldman. Together, they fight crime.

From this week's mailbox: "Neateye" writes

Call out Gouranga be happy!!!
Gouranga Gouranga Gouranga ....
That which brings the highest happiness!!

Dear Neateye,

Fuckin' A, pal. Fucking ... A.

I'd like to think the above are lyrics taken from a reggae song about an exotic cheese, and that makes me happy.

Warmest Regards,

ps. Behold! The Vaseline Man!!!

Aw, isn't he CUTE!!!

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