Dateline: Seattle, Wash. Sunday, June 20, 2004
Dear Mr. & Mrs. North and South America and All Ships At Sea,
This reporter had a front-row seat to the most shocking announcement ever to electrify the entire Internet this morning; Mr. Milos George, the handsome author and Man About Town, has vowed to do one panel of his new Web comic strip a day for the rest of his life, all to raise awareness of the terrible disease known as Endemic Treponematosis. THE LAST ROAD HOME, which is purported to be a long, uninterrupted "shot" of a chimpanzee typing a suicide note to someone named "Moira," launches tomorrow.
Endemic Treponematosis is a non-venereal disease related and similar to Pallidum, the root of Syphilis. ET is found in tropical and subtropical climates, where it strikes mostly children under the age of 10. At last count, nearly a half-million new cases of the disease were known to be raging around the world. The disease is transmitted mostly by direct contact with one of an ET-afflicted child's open sores. It can be cured with penicillin, with a success rate running to nearly 97 percent. But if let untreated, it can quickly result in disfiguring skin lesions as well as bone/cartilage deformities and destruction. According to reports, ET can "extract a significant economic toll on already disadvantaged populations."
When asked for comment as to why he would take on such a mammoth yet somewhat boring undertaking for an obscure charity, Mr. George simply said, "It's both the least and the most I can do. When I think of what Endemic Treponematosis has done to the children of this world, I know in my balls that I have to do something, anything, to raise awareness of it," adding that he "thought about doing some extreme stunt like being frozen in a block of ice and/or jumping a canyon, but my heart condition and the tumor wrapped around my spine scotched all that. Using Microsoft Paint to paste a little text in the negative space of a jpeg of a forlorn ape sitting at a typewriter every day for the rest of my life is a major undertaking, but it's low-impact enough for me to do without jeopardizing what's left of my health."
When your obedient servant asked Mr. George what you folks out there can do to assist him in his personal crusade to wipe out this terrible illness, he stared far into the distance said:
"Tell your friends, tell your family, tell the strangers on the street, tell everyone you see everything you can remember about Endemic Treponematosis and THE LAST ROAD HOME, and then send them here for more material. I swear this will be the comic strip that wiped out a terrible disease within my lifetime, even if it kills me. By the way, don't send me any money at this time; I'm focused on raising awareness, not cash. I'll let y'all know when I want your money to help my kids. Thanks."
Twenty-three skidoo, Mr. George! Everyone go here toot-sweet!
Milo George is the sole proprietor of "The Unofficial John Westmoreland Memorial Tribute Webring," which can be found at http://milogeorge.blogspot.com. His first book, tentatively titled THE BOTTLE MERCHANTS, is planned for a Christmas 2005 release. A comics adaptation of one of his screenplays is also in the works.